I decided to pair the harness with a black midi dress and flatforms. The otherwise conservative outfit was made subversive by the harness, a juxtaposition I carefully chose to trick my relatives into liking this outfit. It worked. As soon as I walked into my mother’s room, she said, “¿Y eso? It looks good.” Later, at the family function, no one batted an eye when I showed up wearing the accessory, which I took as a sign that they weren’t surprised that, as a devout agnostic, I chose a holy day to sport a dungeon-ready harness.